Friday, December 6, 2019


"Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger." -Channing Tatum

Somewhere along the way, our culture has picked up some weird hang ups about cheeseburgers.

Thanks to our freakish obsession with pencil thin bodies, and our deep state fears that animal proteins destroy our health, the culinary creation of two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun has become short hand for irresponsible eating and full-on moral decay.

I call foul.  

Before we drove away, we bought one more cheeseburger for my eldest daughter who was cat-sitting back at home. I have a long history of transporting In-N-Out burgers across state lines. 

A proper cheeseburger layers quality beef with tangy cheese and a handful of ingredients from the garden, spiced up with a smooth layer of mustard, mayo or ketchup and tucked into a fresh bun.

Those are all reasonable, healthy things to eat. 

And while we may not want to lay into the full serving of beef or the simple carbs of a white bread bun every day, this is a perfectly reasonable meal for a healthy person to enjoy once a week. 

We split two orders of fries between the four of us. I call that restraint. 

French fries, in my opinion, are a different matter. 

Pure indulgence. 

No redeeming nutritional value whatsoever.

But sometimes, you just gotta have some

Stand back, I'm about to take my first bite. 

But when my family and I finally emerged from our adventures in the wilds of southeast Utah, we were ravenously hungry and ready to tuck into a proper cheeseburger meal. 

Gracie did not get a cheeseburger but she did get a full dish of dinner and 
a handful of chicken jerky treats. So I didn't feel too sorry for her. 

And thankfully, we faced only a quick two-hundred-mile jaunt up to Provo on beautifully straight and mostly empty highways through the desert to find our way to the nearest In-N-Out. 

Where the cheeseburgers of our dreams were waiting for us. 

* * * * *

Road Trip 2019: read all about it.

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