Yeah, I might be the worst selfie photographer on the planet.
I bring shame to my gender, for whom the art of the successful selfie seems to be instinctive. Most of my female friends and family can yank out their phones, toss off a winning smile and capture a fab photo in a flash. I feel so uncomfortable and inadequate in these situations that I usually try to disappear, or at least slink away into the shadows.
The problem is not with my camera skills. I know how to use lighting, poses and a setting to best advantage in a portrait, as long as I am shooting someone else.
But as soon I'm on the other side of the camera, aack! I freak out.
It's been this way for a long time. Ever since I can remember, the instant that someone points a camera at me and says, Smile!, I immediately lose my ability to behave naturally. My grin goes crooked, my head tilts at an unnatural angle, and my eyes swivel out of focus.
And then, when I'm the photographer as well as the subject, I feel so self-conscious and dumb that I lose the basic ability to point and shoot. My compositions go wonky, I forget to focus the image, and my brain is so distracted and angsty that I don't even think to check my camera roll to see if anything is turning out.
Oh gosh, I know that sounds so dramatic and exaggerated. But trust me, it's totally true and I have the outtakes to prove it.
Today was my first official session. In front of a gorgeous red tiled wall in the McDonald's ladies' room, I took 29 shots and these are the best two. The one above is notable because I actually managed to capture that fiery red grid in my composition. Too bad my face is concentrating as if I were taking a calculus exam
The shot below is my best of the day. Wonkily crooked and out of focus, true, but at least I managed to look at the lens and smile like a normal human. I'm making progress!
Wanna see more photos of me? Stalk me to your heart's content:
>>> childhood pictures <<<
>>> at home and round about <<<
>>> in Malaysia <<<