Joanna's Caregiving Team

 "I do believe we're all connected. 

I do believe in positive energy. 

I do believe in the power of prayer. 

I do believe in putting good out into the world. 

And I believe in taking care of each other."

-Harvey Fierstein

My mom and me, at the beginning.

As human beings, we all know what it’s like to worry about our parents’ well-being as they age. Particularly unnerving are the concerns that dementia may one day make them unable to care for themselves. And then, we worry one step further, the day may come when even our help is not enough to keep them safe. Who will we turn to, we wonder, when we need help?

For some of us, these concerns become a reality and the day does indeed come when we find ourselves in desperate need of help.

For me, that day came on a rainy October morning at the Detroit airport car rental return. I was about to board a plane flying me back home to Seattle, but from the week we’d just spent together, I knew my mom could not possibly care for herself any longer. Not one more day.

Raindrops beat on the windshield as I fought back tears and struggled to find options. Suddenly I remembered the handful of flyers from dementia care specialists that my mom’s doctor had handed me a few days earlier, still folded and tucked into my purse. I pulled them out, picked up my phone, and called the first name I saw: Joanna LeFleur at Memory Lane Assisted Living. 

And that was the moment when everything changed.

Joanna listened to my fumbled attempts to explain my mother’s desperate need, and then she calmly and confidently moved into action. That very same afternoon, by the time my plane landed in Seattle, my mom was already in Joanna’s competent care.

Dementia, as it so often does, had changed my mother’s temperament. As the disease progressed, her easy-going intelligence and dry wit gave way to bouts of negativity and bad temper. To be honest, most of her friends and family did not understand how to deal with Mom’s changing behavior so they spent less time with her. My mom noticed their absence, and over the years had become understandably hurt and undeniably lonely.

But Joanna’s staff understood dementia. Thanks to the training they received at Memory Lane, they knew how to work past Mom’s symptoms and connect with her true self. They offered my mom endless activities to celebrate everyday life and opportunities to engage with others, and when my mom stubbornly declined them, as she often did, her caregivers graciously changed gears. With Memory Lane's incredibly generous 1:3 staffing ratios, Joanna’s team was able to pivot and spend time talking one-on-one with my mom, as a friend would do. In fact, Joanna’s staff became my mom’s friends; they valued my mom as a human being, and they showed her genuine compassion and care. Mom's rough edges softened as she felt respected and loved. 

As I look back on the dark and difficult years that my mom spent living with dementia, her time with Joanna at Memory Lane, and especially with Joanna’s staff, were bright and shining moments in the darkness. Joanna and her caregiving team provided exactly the help I so desperately needed on that rainy day when I sat in my rental car and cried.

* * * *

I have deep respect and compassion for the beautiful human beings who learn to care for those who struggle with dementia - our parents, our elders. If you live in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti area and would like to make a real and meaningful difference in the world today, please consider joining Joanna's caregiving team; you can give her a call, just as I did, at Memory Lane Assisted Living, 734-707-4039.