Friday, November 14, 2014


A cord of ugly firewood.

Today, I've been in a foul mood.

Not even going to try to cover that up.

Since I opened my eyes this morning, I've been cranky and out of sorts. I suppose it's understandable, since I woke up to angry phone calls from my dementia-challenged mother. Yes, I know. Her anger is part of her disease and I accept that she is not choosing to act this way. But the accusations and antagonism did not exactly set my day off on the right foot.

And the cavalcade of annoyances and aggravations just went on from there. At least I have the presence of mind to acknowledge that I didn't suffer any major trauma. But the trivial frustrations - innocent comments from friends that set my teeth to grinding - and medium-sized grievances - I wasted $20 on a batch of photo enlargements that didn't turn out as I had hoped - stacked up one on top of the other like a cord of ugly firewood.

Now we all have bad days, but this is not normal for me. Usually, I can snap myself out of a funk, and I'm a natural born look-on-the-bright-sider. It's not like me to feel the blues for a whole day, but this time, my foul mood really got the best of me.

Which only annoyed me even more.

It was during my late afternoon walk with Ranger that I finally got hold of myself. Walking briskly to keep warm in the frosty air as twilight fell and shadows gathered around me, I suddenly realized how human it is to be angry, to have a bad day. I'm not above those things; quite to the contrary, these slumps are a part of life on this planet. If I want to live to the fullest, then I should embrace - and not pridefully chase away - the occasional bad day.

And for crying out loud, I reminded myself, have a little compassion. Rather than beating yourself up, why not try a little tenderness?

So I fixed a delicious dinner, happily straightened and styled a few shelves in my family room, and treated myself to a nice big homemade chocolate milkshake.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still annoyed. But now I'm holding on to the truth that bad days are a part of life, this too shall pass, and after all, I'm only human.

Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?

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