Today I drank this actual glass of water and enjoyed it. Weird.
Just over a month into the new year, and already, my New Year's resolutions seem like a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
This year, I decided to make mini-resolutions - one for each month - so here is my slightly overdue report on my first month's progress.
For January, I resolved to drink only water.
Now that may sound fairly easy. But here's the thing, I have wrestled with a life-long addiction to diet soda.
There. I said it.
But oh. The delicious snap of the bubbles and the crisp, spicy taste of the cola; the waves of cooling refreshment that soothed my throat and settled my stomach.
I craved every sensation associated with single swig of soda.
And even though I've committed myself to periodic dry spells over the years, going as long as six or even twelve months between sips of the bubbly brown nectar, I've always happily returned to my habit and scorned the notion that life could actually be enjoyable without that delicious elixir.
So I figured that would happen again this time. I'd tough out my thirty-one days in the Diet Dr. Pepper-free desert, and then happily, thirstily, thankfully return to my soda-guzzling ways.
But this past month has been quite full of surprises.
On January 3, my gallbladder blew up.
I relied on pain medication to get me through till my surgery date, and then parted company with that devilish organ forever.
Along the way, I learned that my innards have been in turmoil for years - nay, decades! - because of that heinous fellow. And the truth dawned on me that my addiction to bubbly beverages was driven a desperate need to calm my stomach and bring peace to my long-distressed digestive system.
Once I got the gallbladder pain under control, I found that I no longer craved the soda.
And drinking a glass of water - a simple act that used to upset my stomach - has now become a pleasant experience.
Imagine my surprise.
I can't say that I held exactly to my month's goal to drink only water; I required some orange juice and cranberry juice to get through my medical drama. But in the end, I accomplished something far more difficult and noteworthy that my original plan.
Drum roll, please.
I seem to have kicked my soda habit once and for all.
And that surprise ending to my first mini-resolution of the year makes me so happy I just wanna kiss 2015 right on the lips.
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My mini-resolution for February? Send more snail mail!