Would I Rather?

 Look! It's the latest this-or-that MySpace-style quiz to flounce around the internet and I'm here to play along.

I am also never mad about banana cream.

Favorite Pie?

Loaded question, right off the bat. My husband comes from a family of serious pie aficionados, and I have yielded to his preferences from the get go. He likes his pies fruity (cherry and apple reign supreme), simple (no spices or other add-ins) and often. I usually respect that formula and bake as instructed. However, about five years ago, he mentioned to me that his mom liked a slice of coconut cream pie for her Mother's Day dessert, and I've decided that's a splendid tradition to uphold.

Steak and kale is another fine pairing.

Steak or seafood?

Why would anyone force themselves to choose? This is exact conundrum that the iconic surf''n'turf entree was invented to solve and I can think of few things more delicious than a beautifully grilled New York strip topped with a pile of garlic butter shrimp. Sign me up.

Asian Coke on ice is the most magical elixir of all.

Pepsi or Coke:

Coke. The end.

How many tattoos?

When I was a waitress at a diner style restaurant during college, we often served a heavily tatted dude who came with his lady for eggs and coffee. Now by today's standards, he was no huge outlier but during the 70s, when anyone with more than a Navy style anchor or an "I love mom" banner on the bicep rose eyebrows, this guy's sleeve and neck tatts were one of a kind. And what amuses me now is that we college girls all used to run when this guy and his woman walked in the door. Oh, we ran alright, to grab menus and seat these two in someone else's section so we wouldn't have to deal with serving Mr. Xtreme Tatt who we considered mightly creepy. There was just something about the deep blue-green ink and the sallow taint of the surrounding skin that set us all on edge. Fast forward to today and I'm way more accepting of heavily tatted types but I have to say, I still don't get it. No matter how aesthetic the design, I find the color of tattoo inks to be unflattering to human skin, and that is why I have zero tattoos.

The windscreen of this NSU is approximately the size of a full-grown deer's torso from

chest to rump. Imagine my mother and me with huge WTF faces inside.

Ever hit a deer?

I grew up deep in Michigan's deer country and lived shoulder to shoulder with the little darlings through all my childhood. One had to come to terms with the annual hunting season, during which cars laden with dead deer roped across their rooftops were a dime a dozen. I still shudder to recall the dazed, dead eyes staring back at me as we passed each other on the road. And while we never hit a deer, there was a day when my mom and I were driving into town in our tiny German import when a huge deer flashed out from the roadside forest, saw our car at the last minute, and with no other options available, had the lovely good sense to leap over our miniature vehicle. To this day, I can perfectly recall how its huge body filled our windscreen as it hurdled the hood of the car, and how my mother's eyes filled with terror and then miraculous relief as the deer bounded across the other lane, off the road, and into the woods on the other side.

Last text from:

My eldest daughter, who took public transportation to meet some friends for a show tonight, and asked me to check in with her as she made her way back alone. Sadly, I accidentally left my phone on the charger and didn't respond to her until after she was all the back to her car and driving home from the parking garage. Oops. Mom fail. It happens.

Tulips. The harbingers of spring.

Favorite season:

Ok look. If you can't find something to love about every season, then you're not trying hard enough. They are all delicious and miraculous in their own ways. Now normally, spring is the one I choose as my favorite because it feels to me like the beginning of all things, the time of year when dear Mother Nature hits reset, and the cycle of nature is reborn. But just yesterday, I was grumping about how I'm still loving the drippy cold mess of winter, so I guess my answer is a work in progress.

Broken Bones:

None. Though I once fell down a creek hole while skiing and well deserved a broken leg if not a fractured spine. Lucky me, I came out in one piece.

One good thing about gall bladder surgery: more wristbands than a weekend at Coachella.

Surgeries:

In 2013 I had eye surgery to remove my genetic cataracts and replace my cruddy lenses with new superpowered Kristalenses. In a snap - well, two snaps scheduled two weeks apart - my lifetime of nearsightedness ended and I suddenly had nearly perfect vision. In 2014, with laproscopic surgery and plenty of high drama, my evil gall bladder was removed. And while they certainly do not count as surgeries, I would wager that four cases of natural childbirth warrant an honorable mention.

Kind of obsessed with every color in this tulip.

Favorite color:

I love the intersection of pink and orange - coral, I suppose - as the intersection of orange and red. Tomato.

If I can splash my feet, I'm happy.

Mountains or beach?

Mountains or beach? I choose water. So if that's a mountain stream worth wading, or a glacier fed lake, or a rocky Pacific Northwest beach or even a basic beige beach in the tropics, I am always opting for water.

 Irish charm aplenty. I cannot resist.

Dogs or cats?

Well. Impossible to choose. But dogs. And Irish Setters at that.

Early morning person?

Yes, I am an early morning person because early morning is my favorite time to go to bed.

How can you not love a holiday that involves bringing actual trees into your house?!

Favorite holiday season:

Oh, if I didn't say Christmas, I'd be a big far liar.

Beer or wine?

Alcohol puts me to sleep and I've seen too much alcoholism to consider it fun to drink. So I don't.

Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?

I can't work up much of an argument about this one. Creamy is fine, but how could adding MORE peanuts not make it even better?

Pancakes or waffles?

As long as we're pouring real maple syrup, either is fine.

Android or Apple?

Apple.

P.S. If you want to pick a fight with my husband, just ask him this question. He's sworn to serve and protect the honor of Lord Android, and will lop off the heads of any and all nonbelievers.