How to Talk Politics Without Annoying the Rest of the World

Despite the old adage that it's not polite to talk about such things, politics matter in this world. As citizens of this fine planet, we all have the duty and privilege to gather facts on important issues and respectfully share our ideas and opinions with our fellow man. Especially valuable is to exchange ideas with people who are different from us, for only by seeing all points of view of a particular issue will we be able to grasp its full range of complexities.

{Insert here the story about the blind men attempting to describe an elephant based on the little bit of the animal that they can actually touch. That nails my point exactly,}

Wikipedia

But as we all know, conversations about politics can sometimes become problematic.

There are many of us who despise the idea of political discourse and retreat into silence when we find ourselves within one hundred meters of such a debate.

The problem seems to stem from the fact that some people are passionate about politics, to put it mildly. When a political topic arises, rather than follow the rules of civilized conversation and academic accuracy, many of our dear brothers and sisters often morph into different beings. Some rant angrily, others cast insults and call names, and worst of all may be the dreadful know-it-alls.

Savage Chickens by Doug Savage

Many of us assume that if we don't want to come across as one of those annoyingly overeager political types, our only option is to turn and run at the split second that any conversation takes a political turn.

Fear not, good people! Despite what our fight-or-flight response may be telling us, it is possible to talk about current events, military actions and geopolitical struggles without irritating the rest of the universe. 

Here are five simple strategies to will help anyone conduct annoyance-free political conversations:

Choose a time and place that feel safe for you.

Freedom from Want by Norman Rockwell

There are no hard and fast rules about this. For example, holiday meals with the extended family are generally considered a bad time to crack open a conversation about a controversial topic. And rightly so; it seems inappropriate to hold the whole family hostage to a debate at what is meant to be a joyous celebration. But the other hand, during a difficult phase in our sibling relationships, my brothers and I bonded intensely at the Thanksgiving dinner table over our shared disdain for Bill Clinton's presidency. Follow your instincts and feel free to walk away from a political conversation if the context feels awkward to you.

Talk with someone who shares with you a mutual sense of comfort and respect.

The Runaway by Norman Rockwell

Especially at first, choose debating partners who make you feel safe. Trust that your preexisting respect for each other will overcome any differences that may spring up in your conversation. Last spring, I had an absolutely beautiful conversation about Israel and Palestine with two good women friends of mine, one who is Jewish and the other Muslim. Although the topic was very sensitive and we had widely varying perspectives on the topic, our friendship overrode those differences and the conversation was a huge success.  As you gain confidence in holding political conversations, challenge yourself to open up to those you know less well; the risks are greater, but then, so are the rewards.

Take on topics that you know a little something about.

The Problem We All Live With by Norman Rockwell

It is not necessary to be a walking Wikipedia page on every topic you choose to discuss. But it only makes sense to have a little background knowledge before launching into a political conversation. Even if you don't know a lot about politics, you can always fall back on your knowledge of history, especially events that you have personally experienced. Today's current events are informed by the history of everything that has come before, so feel confident that you have something valuable to say. 

Example: I don't really know much about Malaysian politics, but I remember from my history book that this country was a British colony until the late 1950s. That helps me understand that the Malaysian government is still in its adolescence and gives me a context for understanding other details.

At the same time, feel free to ask questions. A political conversation should be a pleasant affair, not an interrogation or argument. If your partner says something that you don't understand, ask them to explain. That's not a sign of weakness; it's an opportunity to grow. 

Check the facts.

Teacher's Birthday by Norman Rockwell

There is plenty of room in political debate for opinion, but worthy debaters are able back up their opinions with fact . Now, before you panic, let me remind you that you don't need to have all those facts memorized ahead of time. Keep your wireless device of choice nearby, and Google what you need to know. If you have any doubt about the credibility of the facts offered up by your partner, ask for proof.  

This is one reason why I enjoy having political conversations online. As a chat, the pace of conversation moves more slowly that a verbal exchange, giving me plenty of time to gather information and to think before I speak. Another great option is to hold the conversation by exchanging comments on a public post, like a status update or news story posted on a friend's Facebook wall. That allows other people to enter the conversation, which can be interesting and useful. For example, last night, a conversation partner stated to me that the United States is responsible for more deaths worldwide in the past fifty years than all the Asian countries put together. A third party chimed in to point out that Pol Pot of Cambodia was responsible for millions of deaths in the 1970s, making that claim rather dubious. 

Keep in mind that YouTube videos, Facebook pages and personal blogs are not scholarly websites, and therefore of no use to a serious conversation. Wikipedia is your go-to place to find facts; you can also use the external links at the end of each article to validate your findings, if it comes to that.

Keep your emotions in check.

Oh Yeah by Norman Rockwell

Sadly, there are times when debates go bad. Partners may escalate the conversation to a conflict by calling names, issuing hurtful generalizations or dismissing your ability to comprehend. If that happens, pay close attention to keeping your own emotions under control; don't fight back. I recommend that you hold your own ground, in terms of the debate, but you may also feel free to end the conversation if that seems best.

I've had a few bad experiences with emotional outbursts; in almost every case, my partner lost control of his emotions after I had called him out on sloppy facts. (Yes, I have only had this problem with men. Generally speaking, men are much more aggressive about political debates than women, and much more likely to turn angry when things don't go their way.) Once, when debating with a Facebook friend about whether the Holocaust actually happened, I sent him links to photos of the piles of human skulls amassed at the concentration camps. He became enraged, told me that I was unworthy of his friendship, and not only deleted me but blocked me, thereby completely and permanently removing me from his universe.

It's worth noting that in all of these cases, my partners were casual acquaintances.  Our friends and family are much less likely to overreact, and even if they do, an easy smile and agree-to-disagree attitude can quickly repair any damage.

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Here's hoping these five simple steps will make your political conversations more enjoyable and informative, and not annoying at all.

P.S. What do these Norman Rockwell paintings have to do with our topic of political conversations? Hmm, good question. All I can say is that as I was reminiscing just now about that funny Thanksgiving when I ranted with my brothers, Rockwell's iconic Thanksgiving dinner painting jumped into my head. When I Googled it and saw the others, they just seemed perfect so I invited them all into this post.