Monday, November 4, 2013

Cat Fight!

Meet my cat, Sirius. One of a trio of orphaned kitty brothers that we adopted almost three years ago, this handsome tuxedo boy is the most cautious and timid of the bunch.

I might be a scaredy cat but I love to play outside in my back yard. I iz sweet and cute.

Meet Ranger, my dashing Irish Setter. Playful, curious, and full of adventure, he is an alert hunter who is always on guard for any signs of excitement.

This back yard belongs to me. Don't mess.

Today, I was sitting on the couch, working through some problems for my upcoming trigonometry class. Yes, this is what I like to do on a Sunday afternoon. Ranger was curled up beside me, dozing lightly yet still on red alert for any clues that something interesting might be about to happen. 

Just remember, Mom, cosine is positive in the first and fourth quadrants. Wake me up if you need any more help..

The cats, as usual, were scattered here and there throughout the house and yard. It's hard to keep track of those slinky dudes.

Let's be honest. We own these beds.

Suddenly, there arose from the backyard the unmistakable wailing and yowling that can only mean one thing:


At the first set of screeches, my pen froze in mid-air and Ranger's head popped up from his paws. His ears tilted into maximum listening position as I quickly put my kitty voice recognition skills to work.

Yes. I have such things. Every good kitty mama does. And I immediately knew that one of my babies was in trouble.

After a momentary pause, a second round of pandemonium broke loose. Ranger bounded off the couch and landed at the back door in one smooth, seamless motion.

Lemmeout, lemmeout, lemmeout!!

It took my brain a split second to ponder the question. Is it really a good idea to send an enthusiastic but sweetly naive dog into the middle of a cat fight? No, it is not. But Ranger's excitement and positive energy won me over in a heartbeat, and I flew to the back door, yanked it open, and watched Ranger dash out.

We both saw right away that poor Sirius was indeed the victim of a feline perpetrator. In the garden at the far edge of the yard, a neighborhood cat was pinning Sirius down and doing heaven knows what to him behind the cover of some faded hosta leaves.

No, it wasn't a stone bunny. It was a big black cat and it was hurting me!

I was horrified by this brazen daylight attack, and froze at the doorway, but good ol' Ranger knew just what to do. He bee-lined across the yard to the scene of the crime, a flash of red fur in the midday sun, barking with gusto. The provocateur immediately broke away and ran toward the cover of an overgrown fuchsia bush; Ranger matched his moves and bravely scrambled underneath the arching branches, still barking to wake the dead, determined to flush the invader all the way out of the yard.

For his part, little Sirius saw his opening. As the attacking cat zigged to the right, he quickly looped to the left, cutting a wide berth around Ranger and dashing to the back door for all he was worth. I scooped him up as he crossed the threshold, and he quivered and shook in my arms.

Poor little baby.

I walked him around the circuit of the house, just as I used to pace with my distressed human babies, cooing and soothing him. Still, the dear fellow trembled and squirmed. So I set him free to seek out his own safe place, and he quickly slipped underneath my first-born's bed.

This is my favorite bed because the red and white comforter brings out my extreme handsomeness.

In the meantime, our hero had finished his search-and-destroy mission, and was gallantly waiting at the back door. I slid it open with a celebratory flourish and stood back; Ranger strutted into the house and gleefully hopped back up onto his spot on the couch. I praised him effusively and petted his ears just the way he likes it. He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes.

Mission accomplished. 

I picked up my pen and my algebra notebook, and went back to work.

And we can only wonder what became of the other cat.

* * * * *

I've written more stories about my cats. But wait. That doesn't make me a crazy cat lady, does it?

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